As Britain's top Agony Aunt I need your help and advice. I get up every morning and try to look nice. I do my nails bright red, brush my teeth until they bleed, and curl my hair, put on bright scarlet lipstick, false eye lashes and lots of mascara. I wear the shortest skirt and the tightest blouse. I never go out without my push up bra.
Indeed I've had botox on my sagging face and implants made of explosive silcone in my ageing tits.
I eat a lot so my buttocks are fat and juicy and my thighs are thunderous as I totter about in stiletto heels.
I do everything I can to attract men (and even women - who cares?).
But some men treat me as though I was a blow up doll.
I can't understand this. Please explain.

Your's temptingly,

Gorgeous Gloria.

JK2006 wrote:
As Britain's top Agony Aunt I need your help and advice. I get up every morning and try to look nice. I do my nails bright red, brush my teeth until they bleed, and curl my hair, put on bright scarlet lipstick, false eye lashes and lots of mascara. I wear the shortest skirt and the tightest blouse. I never go out without my push up bra.
Indeed I've had botox on my sagging face and implants made of explosive silcone in my ageing tits.
I eat a lot so my buttocks are fat and juicy and my thighs are thunderous as I totter about in stiletto heels.
I do everything I can to attract men (and even women - who cares?).
But some men treat me as though I was a blow up doll.
I can't understand this. Please explain.

Your's temptingly,

Gorgeous Gloria.


Dear Gloria,

Luvvie, you have nothing to be ashamed about. Reading through your moving post, it is clear that you have been groomed. Has a man ever called you 'attractive,' or commented positively on your looks? Those are the tell-tale signs. I urge you now to think very carefully. Maybe you've forgotten something horrible in your past? This man who said you looked nice - did he also touch you on the arm, or the leg, or somewhere...intimate? Have you suppressed that terrible memory? If you have, it is essential that you find the courage to discuss it soon with me. We will never be able to expunge this terrible suppressed imagined memory, but we can certainly get someone to pay for it.

Yours supportively,

Joan.

P.S. One other thing, luvvie. If you've been sold a Payment Protection Insurance (PPI) policy alongside a loan, mortgage or credit card over the last 10 years, there is a chance you may have been mis-sold and have a right to reclaim £1,000s in compensation. Let me know. xxx

Dear Gloria,

you're a slapper.
get used to it
and get a life.

love,
Joan

Dear Gloria,

This is clearly the BBC's fault and I promise you I will not rest until I have punished it on your behalf.

Yours financially,

Liz