This fella is driving around Dublin when he notices a sign at a house.
"Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador.

"You talk?" he asks.
"Yes," the Lab replies.

"So, what's the story then?"

The Lab looks up and says: "Well, I discovered I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the Government, so I told the Garda about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country and sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders - no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping on them.

A male and female pair of talking spaniels are sitting cuddling on the sofa watching TV.

The male snuggles up to her and says

"Oh darling, you look gorgeous tonight and what ever you rolled in sure smells awful."

Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually.

He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.

The medicine man says, "I can cure this." That said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.

Then he says, "This is powerful medicine. You can only use it once a year.

All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"


The medicine man replies: "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down.
But be warned - it will not work again for another year."

Harry rushes home, eager to try out his new powers and prowess.


That night he is ready to surprise Joyce.

He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion. He gets into bed, and lying next to her says, "123." He suddenly becomes more aroused than anytime in his life-just as the medicine man had promised.

Joyce, who had been facing away, turns over and asks, "What did you say 123 for?"



And now you know why you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition.

Two elephants fell off a cliff...




Boom! Boom!

(Not funny to those overseas or below a certain age... actually probably not funny QED )