Dear...

I would like to make a complaint regarding services and your general practices.

After several useless attempts at chasing it up..

Dear complainant,
We have read your concerns and we are sorry you feel that way.


Several months later...

Dear...

Please can you do a short survey so we can get some indication as to how well our services are run.


Dear Survey,

I have spent several weeks explaining how I feel about your services and got nowhere. Please stop spamming my message stations with your crap.


Dear Complainant and Survey Rebel,

There is no need to be rude.


Dear Failure To Heed Complaints & Job Creationalist With Limited Complaint Options,

I am not fucking sorry you feel that way!