When Caravaggio Met Michelangelo

J King 2006

It was a hot July day in Heaven

And the sky was blue below.

All the citizens of paradise were attending

The celestial millennium talent show.

Last time they had witnessed a real surprise

When the architect of Petra had won instead

Of the favourite; the Egyptian sculptor Tuthmose

For his bust of Nefertiti’s head.

Chaucer was there for the Canterbury Tales

With the creator of Sydney’s Opera House sails.

King Lear was a contender, as was Bleak House

And the man who designed the computer mat mouse.

Aristotle got there late; he had trouble parking;

And sat down between Lowry and Philip Larkin.

Picasso spoke to Rubens; Sophocles with his Mum

But Doctor Viagra sadly couldn’t come.

A hush fell and God announced the two finalists

The Death Of The Virgin by Caravaggio

And The Statue Of David by Michelangelo.

There was the expected uproar and the odd supportive cheer.

Jean Genet walked out pale, shaken and feeling a little queer.

Rachmaninov hissed to Beethoven “The judges must be deaf or dead”

And Beethoven was heard to reply “what was that you said?”.

Several felt they should have chosen Eero’s Gateway Arch

And the stuffed shirts favoured the man who’d invented starch.

The Scots championed TV and John Logie Baird

Whilst others whispered softly “Thank God we were spared”.

The Orientals considered Hokusai’s Great Wave very good

But Van Gogh felt a chair was the better use of wood.

The Statue of David won of course, by a mile,

Though da Vinci felt he’d deserved it for that smile.

When Caravaggio Met Michelangelo

At the Celestial Millennium Talent Show.