| An exclusive transcript of a Dave and Boris meal |
| Monday, 22 February 2016 | |
|
At the luxury but secret grand restaurant Posh Nosh the three Old Etonians Dave, Boris and Georgie were having lobster dinner (draped in caviare - the lobsters not the politicians).
George is actually only an honorary Etonian because years ago, in Bullingdon, he begged to be Dave's fag. We've got to win this EU referendum said Boris. Yes, agreed Dave, but we need someone big to pretend to support the other side so it looks like a real battle or Labour will get the credit. Me, sir, please sir, me, squeaked Georgie. No, you're too important, said Dave, stroking Georgie's little thigh. Ok Ok, sighed Boris. As long as I can have the big job next. I have promised that to Gove replied Dave, but don't worry; I have plans to screw him in a couple of years. Me sir please sir, squeaked Georgie, wetting himself. Can I pretend to switch to IN at the end, asked Boris. Oh yes, that is the plan. No problem, said Dave. I smell pee. "It's the champagne", said Georgie. |