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Topic History of: Morbidity Marshalls
Max. showing the last 5 posts - (Last post first)

Author	Message
Green Man	What will Mrs Wyot think?
Wyot	Green Man wrote: Line dancing is fun Wyot. Western boots are cheap and cowboy shirts are to find online. Listen John Michael Montgomery music and learn basic side steps; you'll be alright. Maybe you can take me line dancing when this is all over GM....sigh....
Green Man	Line dancing is fun Wyot. Western boots are cheap and cowboy shirts are to find online. Listen John Michael Montgomery music and learn basic side steps; you'll be alright.
Wyot	With much being made today of the 1 million deaths "with Covid", some suggestions for long overdue state interventions to reduce - and ideally eliminate - the 60 million needless deaths we endure worldwide every year. You will note from the previously unknown death rates that Covid is the least of our worries. These interventions will be policed by a volunteer army of "Morbidity Marshalls"; but I will send in the actual military who know how to shoot guns if people don't adhere. 1. Cardiovascular (17m) Choice of either 30 mins socially distanced line dancing or "squat thrusting to drill music" 3 times a week. 2. Cancer (10m) Red meat to only be consumed on birthdays or Christmas. Only two people from one other household may attend. * this will also save the planet by eliminating nearly all those farting cows... 3. Respiratory disease/infection (7m) "Save Lives, Cough alone". If you cough outdoors hold a hand up to apologise and reassure others by heading straight home and isolating for 2 weeks beneath concrete. 4. Dementia (3m) When you see an old person (60+) sat staring into space put a crossword in their lap ("Take a Break" level; no cryptic,that would just be sarcastic) slowly make eye contact and smile encouragingly. 5. Roads (1.5m) No one aside from emergency services to drive faster than 11mph between 9am and 5pm. I appeal to everyone's common sense not to all start speeding at 5.01pm. 6. Suicides (1m) "Share a smile". Every hour,with someone.