It's meant to be anti-bully week this week... sadly a fairly pointless thing, as bullies pretend not to know they are bullies. Even though, for example, police and online sites keep data on them because they know they are likely offenders (those who shout loudest usually think they are hiding something) - it's often those who howl and spit and bully who are making noise to conceal their own shameful secrets.

The sad thing is that bullying has been redefined so broadly these days that practically anything that isn't outright flattery is categorised as bullying. Not being allowed to do exactly what one wants to do is being bullied. Being told you've made a mistake is being bullied. Even Alistair Campbell thinks he's being bullied these days.

JK2006 wrote:
It's meant to be anti-bully week this week... sadly a fairly pointless thing, as bullies pretend not to know they are bullies. Even though, for example, police and online sites keep data on them because they know they are likely offenders (those who shout loudest usually think they are hiding something) - it's often those who howl and spit and bully who are making noise to conceal their own shameful secrets.

and I have found this to be true especially n the media.

Pru wrote:
The sad thing is that bullying has been redefined so broadly these days that practically anything that isn't outright flattery is categorised as bullying. Not being allowed to do exactly what one wants to do is being bullied. Being told you've made a mistake is being bullied. Even Alistair Campbell thinks he's being bullied these days.

Sorry to have to be political, Pru ... but Labour is largely responsible for such things.

Instead of people "standing on their own feet" they all have "rights" and have to be pandered to.

Don't agree ITK - and Pru; yes; circumstances haven't helped but bullies have been around forever. Surely you both spotted it at school, might have suffered (even, ITK, done it? Only joking).

I worked out, very early, that I had the best anti-bully weapon in the world; a razor blade concealed in my mouth, called my tongue. It was useful in prison too.

And prison was where I learned; present bullies are future criminals. They shout to conceal their secrets. Those who screamed NONCE were, later, revealed to be nonces.

Same online (why the cops like IP numbers of trolls). Same in life. One particular Public Relations Man went so far as to frame a letter from the police praising him for helping jail a (presumed) abuser and shouted about it as much as he could.

He's currently facing far worse charges himself.

In The Know wrote:
Pru wrote:
The sad thing is that bullying has been redefined so broadly these days that practically anything that isn't outright flattery is categorised as bullying. Not being allowed to do exactly what one wants to do is being bullied. Being told you've made a mistake is being bullied. Even Alistair Campbell thinks he's being bullied these days.

Sorry to have to be political, Pru ... but Labour is largely responsible for such things.

Instead of people "standing on their own feet" they all have "rights" and have to be pandered to.

Bit hard to 'stand on your own feet',when the bullying mob has knocked you off them!

JK2006 wrote:
Don't agree ITK - and Pru; yes; circumstances haven't helped but bullies have been around forever. Surely you both spotted it at school, might have suffered (even, ITK, done it? Only joking).

I worked out, very early, that I had the best anti-bully weapon in the world; a razor blade concealed in my mouth, called my tongue. It was useful in prison too.

Agree, JK - an ascerbic wit usually fools them completely !

And prison was where I learned; present bullies are future criminals. They shout to conceal their secrets. Those who screamed NONCE were, later, revealed to be nonces.

Always suspected it myself - usually shouting to diflect attention away from themselves

BUT - I do believe that telling people they have "rights" - and never, ever mentioning their responsibilies - to themselves, their families, their relatives, their kids, their community - only breeds a "I am all that matters, ever one else can sod off" mentality.

Now ... where are my benefits ?
(and I'll also hang onto my spare bedroom - and sod the five million on social housing waiting lists !!!!)

I always thought that bullies on their own (without the rest of the crowd) were complete cowards. Though at the time, I didn't have the guts to stand up to them.

These days I can't stop standing up for myself & detest many people. Mainly because there is a lot of incompentance around, much brought on by a lack of communication, by various officials. Including GPs, District Nurses, Managers of Bus Companies, Train Companies, Department Store Managers, Traffic Police, Jobcentre Staff (inhuman) & not to mention other Civil Servants. I think that covers most people.

Kenneth Williams too JK. He wrote a book called Acid Drops in which he listed some of his more acerbic retorts which often helped him to combat bullies in his school days.

Of course, the cleverest bullies of all are the ones with the whiplash tongues - the ones that hide their vicious desire to hurt others behind a witty facade of insulting words, and then get away with it because people admire such sharp cutting humour!

Good point BJ; and I've often found myself accused of verbal bullying when, in many cases, it's just my sense of humour and never, I promise, intended to hurt. But that's a tricky line, easily crossed, how to wound enough to stop bullying without damaging a vulnerable person in return. I generally feel sorry for them; they are nearly always cowards, as mentioned above; nearly always stupid, in that they really cannot see the truth or the dangers (online bullies change their names without seeing that their IP numbers and written clues give them away); nearly always far more damaged than their victims - having suffered worse abuse when younger and constructed a protective shell. And, as already said, usually concealing a secret that they think they are hiding by shouting loudly.