who gave me a lovely, if belated, Christmas gift. Driving there and then to Harrods and Smythsons and other places to do my shopping (got a great Armani coat, marked down from £285 to £45 - last day of sale) I saw two people I hadn't seen for years. The first, from 40 years ago, walking along Bond Street, has grown old and bitter and it was sadly written on his face. The second, driving a horrid little car, was now so fat he was almost unrecognisable. Both are ex lovers.

It's 'bitter' being old and cold, begging on Bond Street, with no handouts from late-Sales hunting rich old tarts.

He should have asked ITK's CamerCONman or JK's FAT man, for some food.

Probably correct FJ but my one was clearly very well off and prosperous, just soured by life's passage!

" and then to Harrods " ......... what a small minded, egotistical cretin you really are. Wanker.