I'm offended by the cull of ducks because of 'flu; I know they will all be killed anyway (to provide me with food) but something about culling strikes me as over reaction. Mind you I'm not sure I'd object to the culling of human beings - under similar circumstances. If they could infect bees and cause loss of honey...

I've absolutely no doubt that the Mad Farmers will blame someone else - it's always someone else's fault - it's never the barbaric way animals and birds are bred !

It's bad enough with squirrels. We had lots invading our loft, causing all sorts of damage. I was shown a 'humane' trap, which worked brilliantly, but then was informed that, if you do catch one, you're legally obliged to kill it. If you release it into the wild you'll mess with the 'natural' wildlife balance and be charged with a criminal offence. And if you kill it 'inhumanely' you'll also be charged. So what is the 'humane' solution? Shooting it in the head, I was told (yes, we've all got an air pistol in the shed), or letting it 'escape' into a sack and then hitting it over the head with a brick. I kid you not. Pest controllers will come out and kill it for you, but only if you pay them a fortune to set up redundant traps etc to justify the huge fee they'll charge. Funny old world! Would you just take the animal away, I asked. No, they said - 'because it's vermin'. Apparently pest controllers don't remove vermin. Unless they initiate the removal. After which the vermin becomes a 'pest'. Weird old world!

I sit in the park watching our squirrels - there are hundreds of them, very cute, they pose for photos. I had to block up a hole in my loft years ago. That was the only solution. Wait until it left home; then block the entrance. I felt terrible.

JK2006 wrote:
I sit in the park watching our squirrels - there are hundreds of them, very cute, they pose for photos. I had to block up a hole in my loft years ago. That was the only solution. Wait until it left home; then block the entrance. I felt terrible.


How did you know he had gone out? Did you see him heading for Tufty's nightclub in his two-tone tonic strides?

SQUIRREL: Mr King picked me up in his posh car, showed me glossy pictures of the Bee Gees at their most squirrel-like, and drove me back to his home, where he made me enter this hole in his roof and held me hostage in the attic.

DEFENCE: I put it to you, Mr Squirrel, that said hole had actually been SEALED UP five years earlier! This whole claim is a tissue of lies!!

JUDGE: Squirrels are notorious for their unreliable memories. The jury should disregard that remark!

Just had duck with Bamboo shoots and Water Chestnuts from Andrew's local Chinky...'Jay Jays' in Cliftonville...

Pattaya wrote:
Just had duck with Bamboo shoots and Water Chestnuts from Andrew's local Chinky...'Jay Jays' in Cliftonville...

Good establishment Pattatya I haven't had a takeaway in months, I wonder if IDS would give me a extra £9 a week dole money ?

The squirrel answer - my neighbour, Charlie, was poised to get a call; the moment I heard the annoying scrabbling above my head stop (meaning the creature had gone shopping - probably with ITK's wife) I called him and he rushed over with ladder and sealing stuff.

Pattaya wrote:
Just had duck with Bamboo shoots and Water Chestnuts from Andrew's local Chinky...'Jay Jays' in Cliftonville...

Thats what they SAID it was .....lol !

andrew wrote:

Good establishment Pattatya I haven't had a takeaway in months, I wonder if IDS would give me a extra £9 a week dole money ?

Nothing to do with IDS, andrew - you have to apply to the local Council, where they will (if they are loony) throw a few old people out of their care homes to find the money to pay you (and the local winos).