Nothing has changed really I felt.

I walk through swimming crowds of middle aged people in M&S, hunting through the same style of clothing they have for years. Ah! English bliss and security.

A teen drifts silently by without moving her legs at all.

Eh?

Who gave them wheels on their shoes? You can`t ride a bike in a high street shop,invisible jet propulsion has to be a minor loop-hole I missed somewhere.

The Great British Weekend Teatime.

I enquire politely if the tall and spotties would like some food to accompany their frantic laptop typing at either end of the lounge.

"Nah, not hungry", comes the grunt.

Only ten minutes later, one messages the other via MSN (from one end of the lounge to the other)asking if the other is hungry.

The other agrees and I am summoned.

I`m obviously missing the jet propulsion and instant messaging on my watch, but a shout of "we are hungry now!" I did understand...

Up until a few months ago I scoffed with great superiority at kids messaging each other or using their mobile phones to say.."yes I can see you walking up the stairs now" etc.

Then I found myself a few months ago doing just that as I waited for a friend in a hotel reception. We messaged each other back and forth.." hurry up, I'm dying to order a drink"..."yes I'm almost outside the hotel now" he replied..on and on it went.

technology is all persuasive.

A week ago I needed to use the toilet in a friend's flat and phoned him from there on my mobile.

He couldn't believe it was me; it really confused him!

Reason? He's 78! At 62, I can understand how this new technology gets confusing.

Fortunately my Bizarre column in The Sun dragged me into the new technology years before most others.

I remember in The Tip Sheet the kids rushing in to me to say our server had gone down. I ascertained they weren't even getting a dialling tone, walked into the office and plugged the line back into the wall.

They were amazed and thought I was a genius.

Lateral thinking went out of the window in the late 80's!

In my very brief period of working in music for an employer, every time someone dialled up the internet, they would struggle desperatly to have the irritating dial up sound heard, followed by the booming voice from the boss?
"Who`s that? Use the phone book, that costs me money!"

I saw a TV programme the other night where someone was chatting to a teenager and the whole time the kid was pissing around with his phone answering, "Yeah" every so often. I'd have slapped it out of his hands, rude little b@st@rd.

Went on Holiday recently, somewhere pretty expensive and a couple have brought their 14 year old along (he begged them to come along). He sat around all day and night with his headphones in, listening to music and texting people. He barely said anything to anyone there for a fortnight, he may as well have been sitting in a box room at home, what a complete waste of time and money.

Then in the village there's a bench where all the kids sit at night, nothing else to do. I walked past the other evening and there were 4 kids all either texting or talking on mobiles. What's the point of them being together?!