Authorities claim "your life was ruined" following sexual abuse.

It's made by so many people, child abuse charities, cops and even experts.

Is it a message to future victims that they cannot recover from assault?

I understand that victims can feel a variety of emotional responses but surely a victims should receive help to prevent victims feeling life is over.

I'm with Germaine Greer who says "life finished" implies there is some type of shame and victims should be able to shout from tops.

metro.co.uk/2024/10/10/hollyoaks-star-ja...l-abuse-14-21762814/

It's a very negative and dangerous rhetroic to spread.

Of course life is not finished after a horrfic attack but with the right support you can move on to some extent.

After the Manchester Arena bombing, a young lady was interviewed about year or so later after the tragic event. She was injured in the explosion. I like it that she still goes to gigs etc but she is now wary of where she stands or sits and wary of her surronding like looking at fire exits, it has caused her some paranoira. The lady admitted it has become her new normal.

If the victimsgive up the perps have won.

[quote]b]hedda wrote:[/b]
Authorities claim "your life was ruined" following sexual abuse.

It's made by so many people, child abuse charities, cops and even experts.

I don’t think their main focus is on healing. They are, instead, obsessed with conviction rates. They seem to think healing is impossible without a conviction.

md wrote:
[quote]b]hedda wrote:[/b]
Authorities claim "your life was ruined" following sexual abuse.

It's made by so many people, child abuse charities, cops and even experts.

I don’t think their main focus is on healing. They are, instead, obsessed with conviction rates. They seem to think healing is impossible without a conviction.

as a "survivor" of sexual and physical assault decades ago I know one feeling that I learnt in therapy is that of guilt..of blaming yourself for being in the situation.
If I had stayed home that night instead of going to a nightclub it would never have happened.

Therapy was a success.

I had no idea at the time one could claim state compensation..I had a broken collar bone and a permanently damaged eye plus a flattened nose which my GP clicedk back into place.

I like the French idea that victims can receive state sponsored therapy.

# The Germaine Greer correct quote was actually "victims should be able to shout their status from the rooftops"..what she meant was she thinks the notion of anonymity somehow implies there is shame in being a victim.

I’m very sorry to hear about your experience, Hedda. I’m glad that your therapy was a success. Therapy has also helped me. It may take a long time to work through intense emotions such as guilt and anger. Though scars may remain, talking in a safe place to someone who listens, without the feeling that you’re being a burden to anyone, has eventually helped to take the sting out and reduce the impact that those heavy emotions can have on one’s mind.

I also like the idea of state sponsored therapy as it can be expensive. I miss Germaine Greer’s television appearances on programmes such as Question Time. I bought her book On rape a few years ago. She has the gift of being very clear and articulate in outlining and expressing the complexities of the topic.

I suddenly realised this morning that I’ve completed avoided responding to your point about Germaine Greer’s: “victims should be able to shout their status from the rooftops”. I remember my first thought about this was - only if it feels comfortable. It does seem strange, on second thoughts, that those feelings of deep shame that really belong to the perpetrator, have somehow been twisted around and placed onto the victim who then chooses to hide and become anonymous.

Agree with "only if..." but in some cases the "victim" might have been a willing participant - sometimes even initiating or starting something - which they have chosen to delete from their minds and would find it impossible to admit to themselves. Therefore playing the "victim" to the hilt assists their position. And the more sympathy and support they get, the worst the effects of any abuse are inflated. And as for compensation...

In prison I met dozens who admitted to me their claims were false (sometimes they had never even met their abuser - jut read about them in a local paper). But the advantages in jail, special privileges etc, were enormous. One simply did it to get prescription drugs!

JK2006 wrote:
In prison I met dozens who admitted to me their claims were false (sometimes they had never even met their abuser - jut read about them in a local paper). But the advantages in jail, special privileges etc, were enormous. One simply did it to get prescription drugs!
There used to be a blog post about prisoners making false allegations of sexual abuse on this blogger's site: prisonerben.blogspot.com/ I seem to remember that he admitted to making false allegations himself when the police went trawling. He showed no remorse and seemed to blame the police for his decision to make an allegation. That blog post seems to have disappeared.

His Wikipedia page says:

Gunn continues to campaign on prisoners' rights, prison reform, and on matters relating to false allegations of child abuse.[12]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Gunn_(campaigner)
Footnote 12 leads to this 2013 Tweet from FACT UK:

@prisonerben
Thank you very much for your honest and brave contribution to FACT's campaign.

x.com/FACTukorg/status/371211039120965632

I noticed the apparent disappearance of the blog post a few years ago, when I remembered it and tried unsuccessfully to find it.