(with apologies to JK-an expert)

I have a friend who runs the Australian franchise of the Miss Universe contest. It's all nonsense of course but hell, quite a few parties get thrown and I love a party. He runs a small modelling agency..no big names..just supplying pretty girls (or boys) for those supermarket promos and such.

He finally hit paydirt..or so he thought.. with the win by Aussie Jennifer Hawkins in 2005 when she rocketed to world fame for a minute.

When the finals were being run for the local version I managed to get the US actor Jamie Foxx along as a judge. I'd met Jamie at the races over lunch the week before. He was working on a local film (that flopped) and was largely ignored by the Oz media (and never forget..all those News Ltd rapcious journos on British tablods get good training in nastiness on the Oz tabloids).

Foxx is black and was unknown in Australia and living in Sydney for 3 months.. he was out on the town whenever he could trying to get a date. Female journalists labelled him "sleazy" because of this and then banished him from the "social" pages. ( They did the same to Barry Humphries son Oscar who was brought up in Britain all his life and visited his dad's homeland.. but that's another story.

"Miss Universe" is owned by New Yorker Donald Trump. When the PR storm over Jennifer Hawkins broke he sent a team of minders including a PR adviser and a stylist. I travelled around Oz with the group as a hanger-on enjoying the hullaballoo..tremendous fun. It was like a Princess Diana (or Jade Goody) tour.

And then the offers flooded in for Hawkins (she nows rakes in about $2M a year-the most financially successful beauty contestant ever).

In the meantime Jamie Foxx won an Academy Award as best actor for a film he's made before his Oz visit about the life of Ray Charles. I sent him a congratulatory note never expecting a reply and received back a lovely letter of thanks. But then he's a gentleman.

Those previously knocking tabloid hacks who rushed to get interviews with him were ignored.

However my friend hadn't signed Hwkins to his agency..the sharks moved in and he lost her and sat by and watched 2 years of hard work and all his invested money go down the drain as others, incuding Donald Trump reaped in a fortune via Hawkins.

So a week ago I sat in a hotel ballroom as the tedious Miss Universe finals dragged on and on-lending moral support to my pal and pressed him to re-assure me that he had everyone signed to contracts..he had.

The local media showed mild interest the next day in the winner..but then a tall sknny contestant who lost-Stephanie Naumoska suddenly appeared in pics throughout the world within days with accusations of anorexia / bulumia etc. She's actually just a typical very tall ,thin boned East European girl.

The deals rocketed in within days with US networks competeing for personal appearances. Modelling offers from Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, product endorsements etc ..it's been non-stop.

My pal..nearly bankrupted by his Donald Trump experience is suddenly back in the cash and able to re-employ the 6 people he laid off because of Trump.

And he had the last laugh as Trump lawyers demanded Ms Naumoska belonged to them, pointing out the Trump contracts banish losers to the netherland.

So there's a small lesson in the media..a tall skinny girl is suddenly on the road to success and riches..or it could have been a dying reality TV contestant.

All smoke and mirrors and built out of nought. Now you know why politicians can get away with anything when the public's gaze is diverted by flim flam.