I've just returned from the Grammy Awards, and Grammy Week. My 4th Grammy attendance now, and I think they are as mediocre as ever. Some of you that have read my opinions previously may think I'm a cynic or worse. I think I'm a realist that longs for the songs and talent that drove my to this business in the first place.

Thoughts:

The Police moment was too short. Stings voice sounded weak to me. I still like them though. Andy and I have gotten drunk together a number of times, I understand they barely showed him on TV.

Lionel Ritchie....WTF???? Why???

Neil Portnow's ass kissing...well I guess that's his job, but really! I simply don't see John Mayer's faux Stevie Ray Vaughan or Corinne Bailey Ray as powerful artists, as Neil announced them. Or the Hollywood placement ass kissing of having actors with big movie openings presenting one of the only 11 gongs (out of about 100) presented on air.

"Your Beautiful" was the song of the year. The Dixie Chicks....not even close. Something very wrong with that. Something stinks with that. I've got nothing against the Chicks, but something stinks with all of it.

Carrie Underwood as best new artist. I'm fine with that. Gorgeous,talented, good songs, head on straight. I think if she had gone to Nashville on her own, she would have found a career. All the bullshit about A/I being validated. It certainly got her there faster, other than that I don't know. I did see Simon F at the show.

The Justin Timberlake A/I type contest, held at the end of the show to keep TV ratings up. Never again please!

Christina Aguilera......represents the level of real transcendant talent that belongs onstage at the Grammy's. Not the other good looking overhyped mediocrity ubiquitous throughout the night. Christina ate everyone else for lunch!

Last and as always, and as I haunted Mike Green for years about.......the Producer Grammy should be an on air, onstage presentation. Period!

This show was as bad as the Christopher Cross Grammy's! NARAS needs a serious enima. The member ship voting scheme needs to be re-addressed. There are now around 15,000 members. There used to be a consistant 5-6K members until just a few years ago...membership exploded due almost exclusively to rap and urban music. Also because of bastard memberships by labels giving any employee record credits in order to stack that particular labels votes. No secret that!

Of course the counter argument is that there were only 5000 members when NARAS was ignoring Billy Joel's seminal work, and Christopher Cross was sweeping the awards.

I call Grammy week........."The Superbowl of ass kissing"

We need Jarvis Cocker over here to liven things up.

Say what you want about the Brits, or the grass being greener here or there, but after a week in LA, It makes me long for Abbey Road, the Townhouse, and London.

Peace

Thanks for your excellent (and much appreciated judging from the Views counter) review.

Surely the ultimate point is - the entire AWARDS TV experience needs a radical rethink.

I tried to do it when I took over producing The Brits in 1990 and moved it in that direction in 1991 with our Great British Music Weekend nights at Wembley.

The point of this was - 15 to 30 second excerpts from many MORE artistes gave a taster to viewers without boring the majority.

3 minute MONTAGES of the best 30 seconds from 6 different bands/artistes is a terrific plug for that act and I believe most average viewers simply don't want longer than that.

There are other tricks I used.

Montages on the Guest Presenters of Awards made viewers gasp at how many of their much loved music/films etc they had forgotten.

Magic moments like Maggie Thatcher crooning How Much Is That Doggy In The Window!

Imagine the increase in entertainment value if the Grammys had snatched a minute of George Bush singing The Ballad Of The Green Berets!

It is perfectly possible to create a thoroughly interesting, entertaining, funny, serious TV show about a year of music without boring every viewer to death.

FOR GOD'S SAKE TV executives - start using some imagination.

"Magic moments like Maggie Thatcher crooning How Much Is That Doggy In The Window!"

Can someone put this on YouTube, pleeeeeaassse?

I blocked this from general release for years (Ben Elton, who I like a lot, begged for it) as I felt it would be unfair to show it more than once.

However, now 16 years have passed... perhaps.

I have it somewhere in my vast library!