Still, the first few weeks (the joke auditions) are worth a laugh !

Insiders tell me that the probable winner this year is a soldier, from South Wales (with a funny name - something like Ozni)

If I was being cynical , I would suggest it depended on what his Xmas song sounds like.

Won't be as good as RIDING A REINDEER Mart!

Hehehe I vote for Reindeer to be the X-Factor Xmas single.

There would be few things more surreal and subversive than seeing the preened, immaculately dressed and coiffed winner, surrounded by backing dancers, tumbling glitter and usual chintzy X-Factor stage gubbins, looking meaningfully into the camera (giving all the Grannies watching at home the "come to bed" eyes), whilst straight-facedly intoning "Abdul is dreaming, of couscous and sports..."

Or the re-issue of "Pope"(shameless plug!), seriously though, re-charts and the early release of Xmas tunes etc, it is almost impossible to create a credible chart, which I know we discuss a lot here, a further sales report here this morning reveals such scattered sales at different intervals and in different regions that we are, ourselves down here,are rendered pretty chart inelidgeable.

Oh Goody... "The X Factor" returns... all the more reason to keep my TV switched off.

"Riding A Reindeer" for Xmas number 1! We haven't heard whatever the X Factor is going to spew out for Christmas but I know it won't be as interesting or unusual as "Reindeer"!

Don't forget - the UK's No 1 comedy show - The X factor - returns tonight !

This years' winner (Ryan Otzi) appears on next week's show (in his army uniform).