Highly topical song - could be major hit ... just need a couple more verses.

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The Mad Farmer Song

Chorus

I'm a Mad Farmer. You're a Mad Farmer,
We're all interbed !
I'm a Mad Farmer. You're a Mad Farmer,
We're all interbed !
My Mother is my Father's daughter,
My Uncle is a sheep,
We're all doing what Mad Farmers didn't oughta,
While you're all asleep !

Verse 1

Go to the big town right away,
See what special offer they have today,
Go to the butchers - and you will see,
"Buy One Disease - and Get One Free!"

Verse 2

I went to buy organic

I tried it just last night

They said I was pedantic

And the price was total s***e*

*n.b __radio__edit___

*But the flavour was allright.

Very good, mart - any more?

I guess you don't eat meat then ITK.

Thats a thread in itself PBS.
Don`t you just hate the loud vegetarian friend proclaiming their purity at a dinner table, and then whilst halfway through dining, when queried, announce that occasionally eat fish, a bacon sandwich(if there is nothing else available) and were forced to have turkey at Xmas?
Actually, THE worst ones are "vegetarians" that eat no meat but only "fish"!

That`ll be a pescatarian then!

I digress, back to the lyric

(female middle 8)

Im a vegetarian.

I``ve allways had that care

Of animals and pulses

Natural products in my hair.

The weakness that`s upon me

Is lamb cooking open air

And I sneek a bacon sarnie

And love my fillet rare."

No offence to genuine veggies at all, I know for a fact they would appreciate the humour and the iritence that "image only" veggies cause.

ha ha Mart, nice one...

Very funny..

Adios,
pete

Don't you hate it when maet eaters have a go at you because you're a veggie. Cor, really does my head in that.

Back to the song.

I like to eat a lot of meat
It really does me good
Occasionally as a treat
I'll take contaminated blood.

No offence to meat eaters who hunt their own food and regard carnivores who can't bear the thought of trapping a rabbit or wringing the kneck of a chicken as very very silly.

PBS wrote:
I guess you don't eat meat then ITK.

Wouldn't go near a butchers shop if you paid me in gold dust !

I hate it when I get a bag
That makes a lumpy "thud"
Another thing that makes me gag:
The smell of bloody blood

Not a veggie, just getting into the swing of meat-bashing.

Like it, Michael

(btw - everyone has assumed that I'm meat-bashing ... but it's the interbred village-idiot farmers that I'm really having a go at !)

With cousin Ben I had a laugh
Oh, just the other day
His tractor made a big loud bang
Like his little sister May


Hang on, my family come from Tipperary. What is all this?

Movement 3, Parts 1-4 from The Progressive Boxed Set Suite Ltd Edition.(sleeve by Roger Dean)(sung softly, lasting approx 3 hours)

"Yonder the sun brings it`s joy across the fields
Uniting crops, species as one.
The mists of time unveil a day
That Lord Benneth has a way
For the years of no farms have begun...

(whispy anologue stormy synth sounds fadeout...)


There you go, through current Wurzelesque pop, through post punk 80`s musings, Irish raggle taggle, and inevitably back to pomp rock in 10 posts.


Allways has to end in stadium rock doesn`t it?
Next thing we know, Led Zep will be reforming

Mart, I'm saving this bit for the middle eight -

E-Coli or Scrapie today?
Save the Botulism for tomorrow?
Listeria for the starters, with
Foot and Mouth or Anthrax to follow !

also, at the end of the chorus (where it goes - "We're all doing what Mad Farmers didn't oughta, While you're all asleep" !) I'm thinking of having a background choir singing -

We're shagging she-eee-eep, We're shagging sheep

Coming together well, isn't it?

My girlfriend is a veggie,
And this I never mock,
But I don't think it's a good excuse,
To never suck my...... face.

Nah.

It still needs more cowbell!

veggie verger

Being a veggie I'm sure your girlfriend will already know that vegetarian sausages are tasty, tasty, very very tasty !

And, as she is already a veggie - and therefor eating a healthy diet - she'll also have lots of extra stamina !

Dining out soon .... ?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/north_east/6996578.stm

In The Know wrote:
Dining out soon .... ?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/north_east/6996578.stm

If only they'd deep-fried the cold meats in the traditional Scottish way, the E-coli bacteria would have been killed off!

E-coli is often transmitted from improperly washed salad too.

Anthony wrote:
[quoteIf only they'd deep-fried the cold meats in the traditional Scottish way, the E-coli bacteria would have been killed off![/quote]

I thought that several of the recent outbreaks WERE in Scotland ?

Yes, they have been, ITK. I was being a bit facetious by pointing to the irony that if only they had stuck to the stereotype of Scots deep-frying everything- Mars Bars, pizzas etc- then they could have avoided the problem.