It's that time of year again. It only seems about ten minutes since I was in Helsinki, and a few seconds since I was in Belgrade, but here I am in the press centre in big scary Moscow, for the usual fortnight of weirdness and general lunacy. It's life Jim, but not as we know it. It certainly bears little resemblance to the real world, but I still love every minute of it.

Actually to arrive here has been, if not traumatic, then certainly tiresome. I have a massive phobia of flying, which was only slightly helped by a cocktail of diazepam, vodka, wine and nicotine chewing gum. Dragging my drugged and weary 17 stone of blubber and 15 kilos of luggage across the airport to catch the express train to Moscow nearly finished me off, and I could almost sense my autopsy as I walked with said luggage to locate accommodation. All over now.

As for Eurovision, little to report. After last year it is a great relief that arena and press centre are adjacent and not a mile apart.

I arrived about an hour ago to see the Bulgarians rehearse. Two of their act are on stilts, so the madness has started without a second's delay.

I will keep posting, as long as something of interest happens. As this could be unlikely, and the standard of the songs is somewhat dubious (to be kind), maybe I'll just make stuff up. Might I be offered a job by Murdoch if I do that?

Anthony is our official Eurovision representative and Tip Sheet reporter there and we look forward to exciting revelations and hot gossip.

Can Andrew and Jade equal Katrina and my success in 1997?

JK2006 wrote:

Can Andrew and Jade equal Katrina and my success in 1997?
I wouldn't have thought so, however many are tipping it this year, including Glen, my fellow Eurovision expert and occasional poster on here. History proves that we both know how to tip a winner, so the question is who will prove right? I say about 12th-15th for UK, he says 1st.

Jade doesn't start rehearsing until Saturday, so that will save the BBC a fortune. You will be the first to know my impressions once I have watched the rehearsal and corresponding press conference. ALW will be on stage, I understand, which may buy a few votes...or maybe not. I do not believe for one millisecond the rumours that he is trying to get Take That as backing singers, or even if he did, one would have to ask how likely they would be to accept? Not very.

Anthony wrote:
JK2006 wrote:

Can Andrew and Jade equal Katrina and my success in 1997?
I wouldn't have thought so, however many are tipping it this year, including Glen, my fellow Eurovision expert and occasional poster on here. History proves that we both know how to tip a winner, so the question is who will prove right? I say about 12th-15th for UK, he says 1st.



This would be the same Glen who tipped Malta's Olivia Lewis and "Vertigo" to win 2 years ago ? As I recall it finished 25th (out of 28 songs) in the semi final

Norway seem to be the current favourites with Greece being second. Eastern European nations seem to be the outsiders this year with odds in the high hundreds.(Current odds for Jade is 14/1 with most bookies.) Think theyve worked out they cant afford to stage it and will probably vote for ALW as his music is very popular over there. At least thats what the Guardian reckond in its weekend magazine. According to that article AWL is a God in eastern europe. I know most people on here hated the Greek entry but i still think it may do well. Theres a remix version somewhere on You Tube which is much better.

OK Mike Cleverclogs - so what's your tip then? And are you going this year?

@Mike...yes, the same Glen. We're all allowed the odd bad day at the office, though that was a particular stinker, I'll give you that.

@Giles...you can never write Greece off. Sakis can sell a song, but whether he can sing it is the key. We'll find out soon enough. The ALW factor is the one facet of the contest which could just produce a UK win, though this is an unknown quantity and as I have already stuck my neck out and said no, I shall keep it on the block.

Far and away the most notable aspect of yesterday was a huge military parade which came out of nowhere. Dozens of tanks and military vehicles, followed by warheads of frighteningly increasing hugeness. Someone told me it would be a rehearsal for their WW2 victory day at the weekend. If that is incorrect, then I advise buying shares in Georgian toilet paper.

Swine Flu hasn't gone unnoticed with the big Russian Bear. We had to stay on the plane until a health official boarded to carry out examinations. I was becoming highly nervous until a woman with a plastic "gun" arrived and pointed it at the ears of three random passengers, including a friend, much to our amusement. If anyone can explain the point of that, or indeed how it safeguarded the Russian Federation from an outbreak, please do let me know.

When I was first (and last) in Moscow for the Make A Difference concert (20 years ago?) with Jon Bonjovi, Ozzy (and Sharon) and others, I absolutely loved it and the people and vowed to return when I'd learned some of the language but I've not yet been back. My hotel was right next to that square with the glorious onion church. How are you finding it Mike?

JK2006 wrote:
How are you finding it Mike?
I assume you mean Anthony, JK!

I am already loving it. In Kiev I did encounter some unfriendliness, and feared the same thing here, but needn't have worried. There can be a little moroseness at times, but if you see through that and the communication difficulties, I think the Russians are great.

I do have problems with the sheer vastness of the place. My sense of direction is lamentable, I cannot read Cyrillic, and the underground I am finding nigh on impossible to navigate. I feel like I have reverted to childhood, and cannot safely go anywhere unattended!

Sorry Ant; Mike has a way of sneaking into one's head!
I well remember the underground and the smell of unwashed hair and stale socks - I suspect hygiene has improved since the fall of Communism?

Yes, the underground smells sweet these days, though I may have caused some deterioration at about 1am, having been out and about all day, walking miles in the baking heat to which my frame and general level of fitness is not well suited.

JK2006 wrote:
OK Mike Cleverclogs - so what's your tip then? And are you going this year?

I'm going for Ukraine and my clever clogs are not as big as yours JK ! Spain would win if it was the Greek entry but since Spain starts with a 100 point handicap on Greece, it won't win.

Anthony wrote:
JK2006 wrote:
How are you finding it Mike?
I assume you mean Anthony, JK!



Is JK finally going senile ?

Easy mistake granted as I am 5 feet 6 and weigh 8 stones. We could be twins Anthony

and no I'm not going this year.

Those nice Russian Tanks are only there for show.

What have they done with the 1 million homeless in Moscow ?

I don't think I've heard the UK entry yet, or any of the others. I've also no idea who is performing. I didn't watch the Lloyd Webber shows and Eurovision had gone completely out of my mind.

This might be a good thing. Means I can watch the show on TV never having heard any of the songs before, and judge them all on the night.

Norway are favourites cos they fielding a Russian singer and may get the votes from Eastern Europe because of this. Or they may not.Greece have gone down the Erasure soundalike road with "This Is Our Night", like Malta did with Fabrizio Faniello and "I Do I Do I Do" in 2006. Only his performance let him down, he sang like Cacofonox The Bard and came last. Sakis seems to be miming in the You Tube vids but if he can produce that perfect performance it might be in the bag for him. But you never know with Eurovision.

giles2008 wrote:
Norway are favourites cos they fielding a Russian singer and may get the votes from Eastern Europe because of this.

are you suggesting Russians (Or Belarussians in this case) get votes just for being Russian ?

I think a lot could depend on where the songs are drawn in the final. An early draw and it's probably curtains

Norway's rehearsal went like clockwork yesterday, though Mr. Rybak, by his own admission, was holding back on the vocals. I do believe the punters and bookies have it right, and predict a comfortable victory for Norway even though it does little for me. What it does possess is some je ne sais quoi which I think will somehow con televoters and juries alike into believing it is a class song which it really isn't. The singer does have charm by the shedload as well.

My personal favourite is Bosnia and its little friend Herzegovina, a wonderful song, excellently and quite dramatically performed and with genuine class. Could be a shock winner if the professional juries appreciate good music. Mike's tip, Ukraine, which is yet to rehearse will definitely be towards the top of the list. It is a crowd pleaser, and Ukraine are experts at brilliant staging.

Sakis was on stage for Greece earlier. I missed his performance (excuse to follow) but I am reliably informed that he perhaps surprisingly put in a sound vocal performance. He did however fall over....twice
Not his fault apparently...of course not.

The official Euroclub venue opened it's doors last night. I was of course there, with enough free beer tokens to kill a horse. After Belgrade's huge leaky-roofed aircraft hanger style venue last year, this was a real treat. A wonderful, opulent, and vast three floored buliding, not far from Red Square. Lovely. Several past Eurovision singers from this neck of the woods took to the stage, including the excellent Ani Lorak from Ukraine, and eventually Dima Bilan himself at about 2am. I have to say that he looks in a worse state every time I see him. I don't know what he's taking, but I don't want any of it. He can still perform like a massive star despite this.

I finally took to my bed at 4:30, which explains why I have missed the whole of the morning rehearsals and press conferences. If the signs which say "Tiredness can kill" are true, this may be the last you hear from me.

Oh, vote for Belarus by the way. Their publicity machine is providing us with thousands upon thousands of delicious free ice creams, and less delicious curd cakes. It is rapidly becoming my staple daytime diet.
Today I will mostly be eating ice cream, to steal from the Fast Show

If you gave me a choice of staying in bed or watching Sakis, I'd go for the bed. That is one very over hyped song which is no better than Malta's last place of 2006 and with only 50% diaspora televotes will be lucky to finish in the top 10 in the final.

Go easy on the saturated fat and sugar Anthony. I mean this in a caring way of course, but if you get poorly then we will lose our blogger and I wouldn't want you to be unwell. I don't trust "Glenorak" as he is obsessed with that UK dross and it's a well known fact that he only gets horribly wrong every 2 years !

The ice creams didn't turn up yesterday, Mike. I was gutted, but perhaps it has pushed the odds of me staying alive until 16th May slightly above 50%. As for the million Moscow homeless you mentioned, I don't know where they've gone, but I didn't take them, honest guv. There is most likely much poverty in Moscow, but it is certainly well hidden. There are a few beggars here and there, but probably fewer than you would encounter in most British cities. Interesting.

There is little of interest to report from yesterday or this morning. The classical (pseudo-classical?) entry from Slovenia went down a storm, and will be sailing into the final. Good singer. The much tipped Ukraine has caused mixed reactions. Some are now convinced it is a dead cert, others that it was a mess. They came across as quite arrogant at the press centre, not that this will impact on its placing, much as some of the fans and journalists would like to think differently. Personally, I am still pleased I've got a few quid riding on it.

Winding up yesterday were the ageing Toppers from the Netherlands with their cheesy song. This is wrong on so many levels that I wouldn't know where to start, yet illogically I have a gut feeling that we'll be seeing it in the final. They seem like generally nice guys in any case.

It was another late night partying at two different venues. As well as the official Euroclub, there is also a Eurocafe, which can be accessed by the unaccredited fans. Only a twenty minute walk, I was assured by friends. Fifty minutes thereafter I was starting to doubt the veracity of this. I may even start losing weight if this type of thing continues, and hopefully not by means of decomposition.

We went on a unique sightseeing tour this morning. We could not be shown anything central as all the roads are closed for the weekend's victory day, and the rest of Moscow was a traffic jam. Fascinating. Oh, well, at least I got some much needed sleep.

The Armenians were meant to be rehearsing and holding a press conference, but they seem to have gone missing, and nobody I have spoken to seems to know if there is a story behind this. Perhaps they have been mistakenly rounded up with the missing million homeless, or alternatively in a sightseeing tour traffic jam.

Malena Ernman just rehearsed for Sweden. I have to admit to loving this song, despite taking a huge amount of flak from many quarters. It is big and camp and over the top, but who cares? This is Eurovision after all.

Malena is a busy girl. She is still contracted to an opera in Vienna, has been flying back and forth, and is shortly off to Sweden to do some work. She is clearly a proper songstress, and has a truly amazing range. How well the song will do is, I fear, another matter entirely, although there are the few who still tip it to win.

Meanwhile the Norwegians have already put in a provisional booking for large arena to stage next year's contest. There's confidence for you, and I suspect not misplaced.