I wonder if he enjoyed my Inside Time piece.

Oh George; surely you've learned enough about the media to know you must control IT; give them the story to write; point them towards the direction you want (no; don't expect that to be "We love George") and provide them with irresistable quotes (I "released" a new single on the day of my release).

"I'm devastated by my stupidity". "I couldn't sleep thinking about the damage I could have caused". "I've spent four weeks regretting my behaviour".

Come on George; it's an easy game if you want to play it.

My Inside Time column to George (in the October issue - Inside Time is given free to all 85,000 inmates).


Dear George Michael,
Welcome to Her Majesty’s Prison Estate. Since you are the latest in a long line of celebrity music inmates to grace the global prison system - in a century which started with me but which has included Boy George, Phil Spector, Pete Doherty, most rappers and dozens of others - I thought I’d tell you what to expect.

For a start, some really interesting fellow inmates. From the numerous innocent, but fitted up, to the genuinely guilty who decided to reject social morality, with thousands in between, the first thing that will strike you is the frightening quantity of men and women who cannot read or write. I found that horrifying; if I hadn’t been wrongly convicted I would never have become aware of this. Can you imagine dealing with the ghastly, superficial, verbose waffle of Archbold and the lawyers and judges who succeed in stifling the truth and justice with boredom and incomprehensible phrases when you cannot understand the written word?

Secondly you’ll find that your experiences with the police and CPS, exaggerating, inflating, twisting and manufacturing the facts in order to get a conviction, is magnified and increased one hundred fold when not applied to a wealthy celebrity who may be able to expose their tricks. The stories you will hear from your fellow cons will amaze you.

Thirdly - even the worst criminals can be decent human beings. One flaw, however great, does not define a person.

Fourthly, there are many really good people working in the prison system. From officers to governors, healthcare and chaplaincy, you will get support and kindness when you least expect it. Your faith in human nature will grow.

Fifth, you might learn two things you lack - I certainly did. Patience and tolerance. Very valuable assets in life, essential in jail.

Sixth - I must warn you; you need to be strong and to avoid the temptations of drugs. Already addicted you will find it very easy to get further hooked. I was lucky in that I was never interested and made that clear.

Seventh; please keep your eyes and ears open; we need high profile stars to speak out about the many dreadful injustices and crimes in our judicial and prison systems. They listen to us when we get out. They may pretend not to, but they do; we have more power than you may think. Don’t just say weasel words but do nothing. Remember, when you’re free, the thousands who are not. For example, all inmates should be able to vote. It might be nice for you to start on these pages when you emerge; a letter to Inside Time about your experiences would be appreciated.

Eighth - make yourself available to anybody who needs to speak to you. I did that, despite much criticism; there are truly needy souls who you can assist simply by listening to them. Perhaps for the first time in your life you can help others.

Ninth; don’t waste energy feeling sorry for yourself. You’ve not lost your freedom. It is something inside you. To quote a hit from long before you woke up to gogo… No-one can take my freedom away (Una Paloma Blanca 1975). And you may discover that prison is a great place for creative ideas.

Last but not least - regard this as a positive event; not a negative one. Just one more step along the path of life but one that will teach you a huge amount if you treat it as I did; a fascinating lesson in humanity.
Best wishes
Jonathan King
40 million records sold between 1965 and 2010.

Good advice. I really hope he now moves on and starts being creative again. That aimless 'groove' of his lasted about 20 years. Write some songs again, George - you were good at it.

Prunella Minge wrote:
Good advice. I really hope he now moves on and starts being creative again. That aimless 'groove' of his lasted about 20 years. Write some songs again, George - you were good at it.

Totally agree