On the left... lobotomy Karter; get Karter; the man looks stunned.

Next to him; Stringer, the Kat that got the Kream; Rob is turning into a cartoon character and if he puts on any more weight he'll become a LUTON TOWN supporter. Julia darling, STOP FEEDING HIM!

Then Kelly "Beaming" Clarkson with that well worn and totally superficial grin that only Americans can perfect (and only those of us that know Cowell understand is connected to Anus Rictus).

Then Ged "Serial Killer" Doherty, Pete's Dad, fresh from bailing out his baby for his latest crime.

And Louise "Bad Hair Day" Hart, wondering whether a perm will ever come back in and reminding herself to get the hole in her sweater mended ASAP.

Goodness me, what's going on in Putney? Fire the photographer!