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Home  Attitudes & Opinions Ten Reasons Why I'm Perfectly Happy to be in Prison this Christmas |
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Ten Reasons Why I'm Perfectly Happy to be in Prison this Christmas |
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Sunday, 19 January 2003 |
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JONATHAN KING (FF8782) HMP MAIDSTONE, Country Road, KENT ME14 1UZ 1) It's really quite understandable why men and women get institutionalized. The existence of being told what to do, and when, is enormously relaxing. Everything is taken care of-you have somewhere warm to sleep, food is provided, healthcare, if you're sick, a schedule for going to sleep and waking up after a lifetime of grind and graft, earning every penny, having to motivate and originate your activities, the contrast of letting someone else do it for you is fabulous. Passive, peaceful obedience is a delight after a lifetime of positive, dominant self motivation. And it's nice to know that finally, the taxes you paid throughout your life are being used for your benefit. Around ₤50,000, a year is devoted to your care and well being. For each prisoner. 2) Out there is getting worse. Lunatics are running the world. Even madder ones are commenting on it and trying to ruin it. The legal and judicial system is genuinely corrupt and inefficient- I don't think you really appreciate that until it's happened to you. Seriously-half the people locked up in prison should not be here. With that kind of insanity, and with the infrastructure collapsing (traffic, petty crime, hospitals, wars, strikes ), it's far safer in here. Society in Britain prefers to spend ₤50,000 a year keeping an innocent man locked up rather than hiring four nurses to tend to the sick. Or two junior doctors. What more need I say? 3) Prison is a fantastic place for quiet contemplation and self analysis. Very rarely, in the hysteria of normal life, do we get the chance to sit and think. I've found the most enormous opportunity to improve my character. To increase tolerance, patience, thoughtfulness and unselfishness. 4) Kindness to others. There are many truly interesting men locked up, ranging from the genuinely innocent to those suffering from police and CPS exaggeration (the majority) to the genuinely guilty, but nearly all are human beings, needing kindness and understanding and all have incredible tales to tell. From their own childhoods to their experiences in life, you could not wish, as an observer of the human condition, for a better collection of individuals to study and examine. 5) Reading. In my first five months in Belmarsh, I read 65 novels, the best of which was Philip Pullman's 'Dark Materials' (I tipped off a friend, a man convicted of murder and sentenced to life that Pullman's 'Amber Spyglass' would win the Whitbread prize-he got his wife to put ₤100 on it at 7-1 and won ₤700-I became the hero of the prison). Good old Charles Dickens got read again and again. I've even read Prisoner FF8282 (not 8782)'s Prison Diary (not as good as my own!). Outside? No chance except on holiday. And another positive-ideas. Wait 'til you see what I've come up with! 6) I don't want to be part of the public. Well I mean only the tiny minority of the public prepared to believe everything they read in the tabloids and condemn others without any reason. Those appalling bigots who spit bile and spite. Those morons who went on and on about keeping Myra Hindley locked up forever. I've always believed in karma. It comes back - the poison you shoot at others. Every single person who rants on about other people will suffer through bad karma. From terminal cancer to false allegations to fatal diseases. And can you imagine the acid eating away at those bearing grudges. Innocent man? Several of those who made up allegations about me (most of whom found themselves proved liars in a court of law-remember the vast majority of false allegations against me were either thrown out or abandoned or I was acquitted) must be having very sleepless nights as the truth gnaws away at their insides. As for the innocent 'middle men', those agents who arrange for liars to sell their stories to editors who are happy to print them, oh dear, oh dear. I think they are the worst of the lot and I fear they will suffer greatly in the future. Double karma for the Silver Stoat. 7) Protection. You're kept away from those immoral idiots when Her Majesty takes care of you. 8) Friendship. Hundreds of cards, letters and visits have shown me how lucky I am with my friends, family and loved ones. Talk about a baptism of fire. If they stick with you through this, they're true. 9) Strangers - again, the quantity of sweet, concerned mail from total strangers has been awesome. 10) Other people. Inmates make up a variety, and some are terrific people. Likewise the staff - many decent, fine human beings. They try to make it bearable. So you can't go to the shops or the movies or get stuck in traffic. Who cares? It makes a nice change. And as somebody once sang, no-one can take my freedom away. Have a lovely Xmas and a superb New Year. I certainly will. Love, JK
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