I can't do my job and be a mother.

OK I open a big can here and wait for the backlash.
She is married in a same sex relationship both of you can't be mum so either you or your other half must be the bread winner just as in hetero marriages.
I went out to work just the same the other half looked after the children in did my bit night feeds etc got up still went to work.

Sorry if I sound a shit head but she is not a single parent and if this becomes a trend then no new parents will be working, same sex or not.
Get a grip

End of rant