Which included reading out a statement that I "solemnly and sincerely" believed something.
After I'd done it I said to her "I don't think I've ever been either solemn or sincere in my life".
She roared with laughter.

In that case, maybe you should be charged with giving false information.

and if that where case I would venture that the majority of those who swear such statements..lawyers, police etc would also be in the same situation.

When I was young and innocent I don't think I'll ever forget the bizarre case where I ended up as a witness..a French clown on Portobello Road was arrested for busking ( I can't even remember the charge) and the case was resolved basically on whether the clown's false nose was inside the police paddy wagon or outside.

He was found guilty but on appeal at Knightsbrige, the judges overturned the verdict. Plus everyone involved (including me) got expenses..70 pounds...a week's wages.

What really threw me was the fact that the police involved lied..and lied repeatedly..and the appeal judges aknowledged the fact. The cost to the community must have been immense..for such a ludicrous charge. Naturally, the lying police never faced retribution (and I'm the greatest supprter of honest police !)

The clown took my advice..handed down to me by my Jewish mother.."always get a Jewish lawyer and an establisnment barrister"..perhaps her advice was complete rubbish but I've followed it to this day!