Wonderfully unreal ITV series Primeval is so awful that I just have to watch it, and enjoy it. Last week they had a giant prehistoric crocodile rampaging through London streets and gobbling up a traffic warden. When they recruited an archeologist who had witnessed the event, they department head told her that she must not repeat anything she had seen that day. I know officials are idiots, but a dinosaur in London doesn't go unnoticed.

The prize for the most pointless dialogue goes to the movie Dante's Peak. The town is on fire and everyone who hasn't already burned to death is fleeing from the lava. A helicopter crashes and bursts into flames. Pierce Brosnan calls his boss and tells him to send the town fire service to the crash scene. Wouldn't the firemen be among the crowd fleeing for their lives?