1996. I was still a relatively young man at the time, but I got involved with the wrong person. We lived together for two years, everything was fine. Until that person left me. I suffered a break down, and wrote two letters. Hand delivered said letters to my ex's flat. Stupid...of course. The letters were ' I hate you' but contained no threats. Then I sent a third letter...this did contain one veiled threat...for which I feel deeply ashamed. But it was nothing.

I'm arrested. Purely on the strength of one sentence...'I could kill you both'...referring to the ex and their new love.

I'm charged...hauled before the courts...found guilty of harrassment...find my face on the front of the local papers.

I lost my job, my immediate family disowned me for a time, I lost everything.

It took me five years to build myself back up ( I spent months in a psychiactric hospital...I didn't need to be there) and move on.

Of course I had to move away from the area...my solicitor said...'they threw the book simply because they were worried about what you MIGHT DO rather than what you have done'.

All on the strength of three hand written notes.

Took me courage to tell you all that. I went mad temporarily and the system made me pay with my life...almost quite literally...I was suicidal for two years.

What damaged me most was the local press...they made me out to be the local nutjob. It hurt terribly and put my own mother in hospital.

Yes, I have full sypmathy for most of what I read here...and I can only imagine what JK went through.

But I understand.

There but for the grace of god...

It was very brave to bring that out,and let's hope the lightening of the load will help heal the heart.

The bonus of this place is the tolerance,and the fact some of the people have been through some pretty tough experiences themselves,so they understand better.

Good luck.

You have my deepest sympathy and I understand exactly what you have been through. All you were guilty of was bad judgement which would incriminate most of us including the majority of politicians.

So many friends of mine have experienced the same and I've watched them either recover or go downhill.

The media angle can be very distressing. I actually feel quite ashamed I was once an active participant in the media, albeit at the fluffy end of show biz.

I've lost friendships with some colleagues for atacking their biased stances. I do my best now to expose the humbug and hypocrisy. But there are other writers who do their best to expose the unfairness of laws.

The general public just don't understand how devestating the process is for a charged person and how all power is with the authorities both financially and in the manner the police will use the media (with the reptiles active help).

Spending now more time in Australia I despair as I watch it virtually mirror every law insanity happening in the UK. People are being increasingly denied bail.

Even this can devestate a person before they face a trial. They lose their flat or home, their job-their family members become victims of the system-their whole lifestyle falls apart. A person can be then found innocent and spend years getting their life back together.

Increasingly the law is a political football used by politicians to gain a foothold over their political opponents. This leaves a trail of victims and does nothing to protect society from real crime.

If only we had a King Solomon.

I think JK broke the mould when he refused to slink away through his travails-although Im pretty sure he despaired in private at times. Facing the full fury of the gutter press worked for JK-he really left them with no-where to manouver to.

Confronting bulies works..but that's pretty hard for the vast majority who enter an alien where authority is all powerful.

My advice is to fight back by not accepting the rules set by an unholy alliance between a powerful media and ambitious politicans. You have to find your own way though..good luck and best wishes !

Thanks for the terrific responses both Innocent Accused and Veritas. My case should never have gone as far as it did. Stalker? Good god no...I wrote three letters on three seperate occasions after downing one too many.

The local press snapped me as I was coming out of a pre trial hearing...and then ballooned the photo all over the front of their rag when I was later found guilty.

It was a good story...local respected businessman goes nuts!!!

They even printed 'I peered through the letterbox before posting the letters'. And the couple endured 'silent phonecalls'...I never phoned them once!!!! And that fact was never mentioned in court. They interviewed the couple later.

The fact that this was a 'gay triangle' as the local press put it.. made it more meaty!!

The police and the court did half the damage...the local press did the rest!

as distrssing as this sort of media attention is you have to remember that he vast general public simply don't absorb this sensationalism.

It would be amazing if they could even recall a story in a month's time. Hence the need everday for a new tale.

There is a reason celebrities employ publicitists to keep their names in the media with any silly tale.

That doesn't help at the time though. Pity you didn't have the foresite to do what I did with a friend facing his first appearance in court..which I knew would garner media interest.

We met in one of the court's private meeting rooms after the 5 minute hearing and exchangd coats...I then rushed from the court with his coat over my head and 3 photographers chased me down the street barking at me..whilst my pal strolled out and got into a cab.

When I took the coat off the snappers were furious as though they had been denied their rights and were abusive !! It was actually a lot of fun..and one newspaper even ran the pic as the 'offendor' hiding from the press. The editor was very agresive when I pointed out the snap was of me not who the caption said.He had to apologise in the end.

Nothing better than conning the media and another reason why you can't believe much of what is the tabloids.

I think everyone has things in their life that in the heat of the moment ( or in many people's cases under the influence ) they had wished had not happened. The casebooks of the Agony Aunts are full of these stories and they are from all ages. Of course when the media get involved it brings a whole new angle and its own pressures - it is bad enough doing something you regret but for that to be splashed in the press or TV must be heartbreaking.

The media does not help by doing this. I think that they would be better off covering "Good News" stories of the good and postive things that people do....but for some reason the UK press seems to want to dig dirt and skeletons and then makes things up if that does not work. Inuendo and lies are common.

That is why I dont shed any tears for the news titles that go under in the coming depression - as many will. I used to like reading the press and still enjoy some of it - but the way in which innocent people are judged before the whole facts are released or the way the papers pick on certain people is very distasteful.

The blanket story is immense. It should be a tactic tried by anyone and everyone so that the media cant glory in their fascination with people's mistakes.

Justice to be justice should have a main element of rehabilitation or forgiveness or it is worth nothing.

On the positive side you didn't have to do time,or sign a perv register.
Of course the downside is the embarresment.As Veritas said most will never remember it.But would you feel comfortable drinking in your old local? Probally not,as you'd feel you're being watched.
Since my arrest,under false allegations I've avoided places where I may be recognised in public,and it's not fun as you well know.
The bonus of the net,and JK's forum is that you're amongst friends.People who know how you feel.It's helped me,even chatting away behind the scenes being given pointers to help things along.
I'm feeling very suicidal at the mo,as you yourself said you were.But the thing that impresses me most about JK is how he chanelled his energy positively before and after his case.I'll be lucky if I'm still alive in a week,let alone fighting to support others.
Hope the positive response has made things a bit easier.

don't despair Innocent Accused..I've nurse-maided someone through what you are going through. I do hope you have someone to talk to physicaly..even those hotlines are a great help though you may not think it.

My friend went through suicidal stages many times.

But not after, even when he was found guilty, received a jail sentence -reversed on appeal to a good behaviour bond.

It was the stress that was doing him in.

What did do his head in at the time was the continuing threat of public exposure and ridicule. The legal processes and court appearances themselves I noticed were almost a relief in the end. Waiting was the intolerable part.

I hope you have trust in your lawyers (and of course the cost is horrendous). Criminal lawyers tend to be the most expert at law, the most sympathetic.

Talking to others always helps. You would be surprised to know the vast majority of people really have no interest in your case at all..the media will make it sound the opposite.