a reasonably interesting case here in Oz involving veritas in my role at a Spiritualist Church. These place attract the weird wacky and most fascinating people.

This particular one is possibly the oldest church of it's type in Oz-anyone familiar with the movement in Britain would know how strong it is there.

I assist the Reverend-a wonderful old Margaret Rutherford type-just as one expects-who is 86 but can summon up the spirits like no-one. As always ,there is large congregation of little old ladies and as usual , plenty of gays and lesbians amongst others.

Enter a recently arrived Brit as a congregation member who manages to get himself elected as church officer. He's gay-no problem there (the last stoush at this church had one member locked inside as his gay lover,a policeman, threatened to shoot him through the window with the service revolver)

And then the fun starts. He pours over the books and announces that huge sums of money are missing. He files a report to the police. There is talk of fraud and spirits 'making money disappear'...the Reverend could be heading for the clink.

My antenna rises-I've been telling this lot for a year that their constitution can easily be circumvented and the property-worth £2M could be transfered to another name. I'm so honest-I could have done it myself.

The Brit has alienated as many people as possible first with his allegations which he reports to the police and attempting to befriend a half dozen dear old gays firmly embedded in the closet

He forms an alliance with 2 gay accolytes-the older gays and lesbians flee until the disruption vanishes. I correctly surmise it's all part of the plan. My friends don't call me Miss Marple for nothing.

Lat night I arranged a General Meeting to sort out this rubbish. A marvelous bunfight ensures..I was at my best particularly when an independent moderator who teamed with our Brit to announce I was to be thrown out by the security guard at the door.

But not quite as I in turn announce (he was actually my regular security guy I hire-a charming 6'6" Samoan-huge and round , ever so friendly and gentle until summonsed) that as he worked for me and I hadn't yet paid his wages I'm not too sure he'd be laying a hand on me...(this is a shockingly tacky trick I picked up from the late Kit Lambert the rock manager-I hire him every now and then to accompany me to parties. On nights he's not there people assume he's hovering somewhere in the background...a minder brings such prestige !)

Today I visited the local cop shop to put an end to the slew of false allegations our British friend had made about our 86 year old medium.

A charming female Commander ( a lesbian)immediately orders a formal draft of a letter clearing our dear old lady of theft and says she will be calling our English friend in for a chat. Something about "filing a false police report' were her words.

'Please keep me posted," I plead-I need to know where to serve libel papers. (it's as lucrative here as the UK).

Just another Thursday in Sydney-religion can be fun sometimes, the fuzz can be most helpful and on Monday I have to decide which of the 2 top tacky tabloid TV shows can have the tale.

Funny that the medium didnt see that one coming. Maybe shes slipping. I remember going to a spiritualist meeting some years back. The speakers name was Anne Bancroft. No, it wasnt that Anne Bancroft but the local paper (the Portsmouth Evening News)reported that it was the famous film star and the meeting was rather more packed than usual,so packed in fact they had to move rooms. When the meeting started they made the announcement about the cock up. Nobody moved.The woman who wasnt the actress Anne Bancroft got up to speak for half an hour. We then had a tea break - well the usual crowd had tea while the rest of us dashed for the nearest exit. Doubt whether they sold much tea.

that is a very funny story.

Actually she did see it coming..well she said she was in for a rough 5 months and that's just about the time it taken.

The old dear concurs with me and many others..everything happens for a reason.

As a result lots of old members have returned and the congregation has been boosted because of all the scandal. There is more gossip in a church than the NoTW.