It started with Mandy:



Versatile face-fuzz: easy to blend in with the officer class, but also a Frankie Goes to Hollywood mosh pit. It shouted out confidently: 'I'm Labour, fly me - anywhere, any how!'


Then it moved on to Bob Ainsworth:



Nostalgic face-fuzz: a back-to-the-future tache that seemed to have been photoshopped from 'I'm All Right, Jack'. A strip of lip pube that made the party seem as though it was about to re-introduce National Service, Brylcream and Lyons Tea Houses. The fact that Bob had got David Blunkett to trim his hair only added to the impression that here was a party running away from modernity.


Now the tough tache challenge has been handed on to David Miliband:



Yes. The pre-pubescent pube plot. The moustache that dare not come completely out of the closet. Would you trust a tache like this? It captures Labour's identity crisis well: it isn't just unsure of what it wants to stand for, it also isn't sure if it can manage it anyway. Like his beliefs, does he even know that there's something there?

Sort it out, Ed, mate. Make a clean lip of it.