Mrs ITK is looking at the cruise brochures again !

again!*

yes, she deserves a break from you...

He will blame Brexit.

No I fear you're mixing up cruising with leaving the country Andrew - but I wouldn't be surprised if Mrs ITK, Mr ITK and thousands of others don't decide, post Brexit, that they might be happier elsewhere. I suspect Brexit will not only see fewer EU people coming here but many fewer UK citizens choosing to give up their citizenship to move off to somewhere more sensible.

as long as you aren't on any frigging ships going from New York to Southhampton in the next year.

Mind you I wouldn't be found dead in steerage anyway.

Went on a cruise once, never again!

Overhead in the lift - 'does this elevator go to the front on the ship?'


Also:-

- is the water in the toilet fresh or seawater?

- did this ship ever sink?

- does the crew sleep on board?

- what time is the midnight buffet?

Spee32HR wrote:
Went on a cruise once, never again!

Overhead in the lift - 'does this elevator go to the front on the ship?'


Also:-

- is the water in the toilet fresh or seawater?

- did this ship ever sink?

- does the crew sleep on board?

- what time is the midnight buffet?





You sound a right joy. .

I bet you ask what washed out comedian or pop group are on stage tonight, followed by is this beer British?

JK2006 wrote:
No I fear you're mixing up cruising with leaving the country Andrew - but I wouldn't be surprised if Mrs ITK, Mr ITK and thousands of others don't decide, post Brexit, that they might be happier elsewhere. I suspect Brexit will not only see fewer EU people coming here but many fewer UK citizens choosing to give up their citizenship to move off to somewhere more sensible.

Quite right, JK ... and with thousands of (cheap !) villas soon to be available in the Canaries (as the ex-pats flee back to Britain) some loverly bargains too !

hedda wrote:
as long as you aren't on any frigging ships going from New York to Southhampton in the next year.

Mind you I wouldn't be found dead in steerage anyway.

Does this mean that you have escaped Oz (again) hedda?
Last time we were down there we looked for you - and I'm sure I spotted you in a sleazy bar (Mrs ITK had gone shopping).
I suspect it was you from the grumpy persona ... the badly fitting wig and the mobility scooter outside (notice how they can ALL walk to the bar??)!

You've been watching too many films, hedda - steerage was scrapped just after Leonardo Di Capri sank one of the ships.
Its all done on a cabin basis now - separate dining rooms etc (so you never have to meet the peasants)

ITK's been on a few Saga cruises - for those of a certain age.

Where the midnight buffet is at 7pm, and it's lights out at 10pm.


But he joined a very exclusive club onboard.

For which you must have had, at least, one hip-replacement...

Don't joke - at (almost) 73 I give thanks daily that I haven't yet have to demand a hip replacement. Except for "hip" in the old Beatnik sense - where I definitely need one.

Cruises though - are for the mentally challenged!

On my one and only cruise, I heard a large family (on their first cruise) ask this.


'We have numerous cabins on various decks.

Do all the decks visit the same ports?'

You had clearly been placed amongst those of a similar intellectual capacity !

Spee32HR wrote:
Cruises though - are for the mentally challenged!

On my one and only cruise, I heard a large family (on their first cruise) ask this.


'We have numerous cabins on various decks.

Do all the decks visit the same ports?'





Did they only eat and chips ?

Give ITK a brown ale and his any bodies even Spee.

andrew wrote:
Give ITK a brown ale

Guinness and cider, Andrew !

Spee32HR wrote:
Cruises though - are for the mentally challenged!

On my one and only cruise, I heard a large family (on their first cruise) ask this.


'We have numerous cabins on various decks.

Do all the decks visit the same ports?'





not when you are in First Class with a double cabin and it's own balco0ny and butler and well away from the ghastly peasantry hard working salt of the Earth somewhere below decks.

The QE2 was like a 5 Star Hotel and was a joy. You luxuriated and a few days later woke up in a different country. Like a floating Ritz.

hedda wrote:
The QE2

QE2 ???

That was scrapped more than a decade ago, hedda !!!

Since then we've had Queen Mary (a bit tarty if you ask me).

Is the corset too tight ?

Scrapped - over a decade ago!

Get something right, please....


The vessel is now floating on the water in Dubai.

Saw it in January - but why make a hobby out of typing inaccurate garbage?

In The Know wrote:
hedda wrote:
The QE2

QE2 ???

That was scrapped more than a decade ago, hedda !!!

Since then we've had Queen Mary (a bit tarty if you ask me).

Is the corset too tight ?

you see this is typical of the types you would encounter in steerage if you were ever foolish enough to wander there.

Gormless lower class (I mean classless) Tories with their white knobbly knees and outsized shorts and a handkerchief tied at each corner passing for a Panama hat and a brand new T-Shirt with Maggie Thatcher's image on it.

Those of us who regularly use huge ships for travel from NY to the UK (and visa versa)recall the QE2 with fond memories as it was like traveling on a floating Dorchester Hotel but we have moved on to the new gala ships that resemble Las Vegas mega casinos where still, fortunately, they have several classes to keep the quality people separated from the hoi polloi as sadly, economics in this "Free" Market Madness mean that the proles are encouraged to go boating in their new shoes.

## tip for ITK- if asked (not that would ever happen but who knows, he may have a brain seizure) dine with The Captain more than once as he must fake politeness as you regale him with endless tales of terrible unions, dole scroungers and free market voodoo economics.
They have a special squad of Filipino sailors who during the night ensure Boring Passengers are consigned to Davey Jone's Locker which is why so many passengers disappear "mysteriously" on cruises.

hedda wrote:
we have moved on to the new gala ships that resemble Las Vegas mega casinos

well, I did say they were a bit tarty !

You will like them.